Love and Logic

“They’re driving me crazy! Every time I’m on the phone they start fighting with each other. If it’s not that, they are asking for things. I haven’t had an uninterrupted phone conversation for months. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Anna’s children had discovered that they were no longer the center of attention when she talked on the phone. So, they would hang on her, complain, bicker, or beg. She decided to do something about this by using a Love and Logic Training Session.

Anna called one of her friends and explained the problem: “Paula,” Anna said, “my kids are in need of some special training. They are driving me nuts when I get on the phone. Would you be willing to call me several times during the next few days? When they start going through their acts, I’ll put you on hold for a few minutes. I’ll pretend like it’s no big deal that we stop the conversation while I straighten out the kids. That way they are going to find out that inconveniencing me while I’m on the phone is a bad decision. Please call me tomorrow morning and we can have our first training session.”

“Oh, this sounds great!” answered Paula. “Maybe you can do the same thing for me.”

Anna started telling Paula about the Love and Logic Energy Drain technique: “When we are inconvenienced, the time and energy we lose has to be paid back by the kids. This is usually paid back by doing some of the parent’s work, like scrubbing toilets, washing windows, or pulling weeds.”

Paula called the next morning, and true to form, the kids started in on Anna. She very politely said, “Oh, Paula, I’m so sorry. Would you please hold? We are going to have a Love and Logic moment at our house.”

Anna put the phone down, calmly walked over to the kids and said in a stern voice, “I told you that bothering me while I’m on the phone is an Energy Drain. I’m going to have to do something about this. You can wait in your room until I finish.”

Anna’s kids paid her back for her Energy Drain by pulling weeds that afternoon. Now, if the kids forget and annoy Mom while she is on the phone, she turns to the kids and asks, “Are you sure you want to inconvenience me while I’m on the phone?” This is usually followed by a quick retreat by the kids.

The beauty of the “Energy Drain” technique is that it can be adapted to all types of new and different situations.

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible.

Jim Fay

Mission

Monroe Christian School is a Christ-Centered Community equipping God’s children for service in His kingdom.